A tough guy you're not

My youngest likes to present himself as a tough guy. What we're learning is that he is sssooooo not a tough guy.

I'm not working this summer (out of the house) so we're spending lots of time together. Lots of hugging and cuddling and lots of learning about each other. I'm learning that my child is not the very most independent person. I'm learning that this bothers me.

You see my oldest may be a little loud and goofy, but you can take him anywhere and he'll fit right in...make friends...do whatever. He's just Mr. Amiable.

Now my youngest...oy vey...not so much. He's the kid that hated Disneyland. He gets cranky very easily. I don't handle this well. On the norm I've got 20 kids a day needing me and overly neediness is just one more thing to cope with. When someone is paying me money to deal with it... well I deal with it. But when it's my own...buckle up buddy cuz Moms' got things to do.

Yikes, I have to learn to meet his needs without losing mine. He really did not like the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk today. We went there for Fathers Day and he rode maybe 3 rides. Of course instead of figuring out how to help him I got angry. Finally the last ride of the day - the log ride- his daddy got on with him and he actually enjoyed himself.

He just needed us and I missed that tiny little piece.

Like I said...there's a lot of learning going on at our house this summer.

Indoor VS Outdoor Mommy

So as we all know there are indoor and outdoor animals. This leads me to the conclusion that there should be indoor and outdoor humans. If that were the case, hands down, I am an indoor human.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not lazy, I just would rather be inside than outside. First, I burn like a french fry. Yes, I know there's this thing called sun screen, but I still burn. Plus, I have rosacia. I'm just not a member of the sun club.

Plus, the dirt...need I say more. Growing up in the hills of West Virginia you would think I'd enjoy it. But I just don't. We live on 3 acres with sand and dirt and bugs. It's fabulous for my boys. I'm a good enough parent to realize that I may not like things, but they're good for the kids.

Yesterday B and I went with some friends for a day out. First, we went to Point Lobos. It was gorgeous...water, rocks, sea life, so much for them to see. Well about 15 minutes into climbing around the rocks I knew I had done enough. Luckily, my friend has a 15 month old that needed watching. I watched the baby and she climbed around with my son. I've got about 13 years on her and believe me, my body is feeling the 15 minutes of climbing. Now, I'm not naive enough to not think maybe it would have been more enjoyable if I didn't have extra weight to climb around with. That being said, everyone had a great time.

After that we went to the beach. Sand, sand, sand...need I say more. Once you put the sun screen on the sand just gravitates to you. I thought I had brought a chair with me...I hadn't. I couldn't get comfortable. Luckily the kids were having such a good time and the company was so much fun that the time flew by. I got in the shower as soon as possible when we got home. Nothing like the shower after a day of sand.

So my question goes to reason...are some people indoor people like there are indoor animals?

So this is my real life

Since I have the summer off I've been checking my email quite frequently...especially my Union account. I've been shocked at the low amount of email I've been getting. Usually I only get to check it a couple of times during the day and then at night because I'm working.

I usually have atleast 5 - 10 emails a day and they're ALL issues which take a lot of time. Plus, the phone calls...oh the phone calls. My children learned to not talk unless they said "are you on the phone".

What I'm getting at is since it's summer and the union isn't all encompassing (for now) I'm hardly getting any emails or calls...at least in comparison to the norm.

It hit me tonight...without the Union I have a pretty quiet life. My family is about it. I was very social in college and still can tend to be, but on the whole I'm a homebody. It's weird, these last two weeks. I think I'd gotten used to the constant "balls to the wall", but I think I could very easily get used to this again.

I have 350 days until I become Vice President and I think that will be huge for myself and my family. I know I will always be involved on some level, but me thinks I could get used to living a relaxed life again.

I am feeling a little neglected though...anybody got a problem I can try to solve for ya? Give me a call...email me...something...hello....hello...

For the bazillionth time

I'm gonna bitch about my weight. My God, even I'm getting tired of hearing it. Especially considering I ate movie popcorn, tacos, and then a Pepperidge Farm cake (at least not all by myself).

I'm so depressed. I can't even find a jumping off point. I had lost 40 and I'm pretty close to having gained it all back. You see the hardest part for people like me is that it's a vicious circle. I am hungry so I eat, but I eat more than I should so I get depressed...so I eat and then I get mad at myself and depressed so I eat. Do you get where I'm going with this.

I just want to find the Dr. who, when I lose my weight (because I will), will then put the lapband on me so I won't/can't gain it back.

I have to get healthy for my monkeys (I have my youngest standing here naked beside because that's how he likes to be...naked). I'm so uncomfortable in my skin. What is it with food? Who are those people that LOSE their appetites when they're depressed? Why couldn't I be one of them because after the year I've had I should be a stick!!

Anyhow, my goal is tomorrow to wake up and start one more flipping time again. Dear Lord I pray this is the last. I must add I totally get Kristie Alley...she and I are weight soulmates.

No more day counting

Just one more thing to keep track of,right? Yesterday, T had his appointments at Stanford and they went great! First they did the Visual Field test and it looks like his peripheral vision is getting better. Then a new Neurological Opthomologist checked him out. He said, barring my kid having an odd shaped optical nerve, things look good.

T had a MRI at 5 yrs old and the Neurological Opthomologist back then was horrible. First he tells me t may have a tumor behind his eye and then he doesn't even call me with the results. I had to hunt his sorry ass down. Needless to say, the new one was wayyyyy better.

Then off to the mall, which of course means the Cheesecake Factory...need I say more....

But the topper to this post was the Championship Farm A baseball game between T and his best friend (who also happens to be his cousin). It was a really really close game, but cousin W's team prevailed. There has to be a winner and a loser. It's just a life lesson.

I was so happy with how T's team progressed this year. The coaches were great and all of the boys had a fun time.

Now T and dad are bonding and I am cleaning.

How did life become this wild and crazy?

Day 4 and I hate the Patch

No, not the smoking patch.

My son's eye patch that he's supposed to wear every damn day for 3 hours. It is a serious struggle. Of course, if I was more consistent it wouldn't be. It would just be part of his life. But you know, I hate the damn thing too. Everyone has to ask questions and make comments. Like it's that amazing to see a child with a patch over their eye.

I know we're lucky that it's just a patch. It could be much worse, but it's still a hassle. Plus it jacks up his glasses and they get all crooked. I just hate it and I know he picks up on it.

But still he has to do it. So today I go to put it on and he throws a major running from me type of fit. I get frustrated and it just goes down hill from there. I will say I am not the perfect parent with a book of skills on how to handle each and every situation perfectly. You can interpret from there how it went. Him crying and me frustrated.

So that was Day 4. The only real good time today was having lunch with one of my friends from work. Her kids and mine played well together.

Here's to Day 5 going better...except we will be at Stanford all day taking tests on his eye that we're supposed to be patching. His Dr. is extremely good at what she does and can always tell when we haven't been patching. So now I have to decide how much we haven't been patching to admit to and then she'll tell me we have to keep doing it...uggghhhhh.

Dharma/SAHM Expirment Day 3

Day 3 turned into a wonderful day. Not that it didn't start out that way, but man, it ended with a bang.

First, we did the usual which for us is getting up early and me baking. T loves when I make cinnamon rolls. Personally I just think he loves when I bake. I could delve deep here and assume it makes him feel more personally taken care of. They love any time I bake versus going out.

Then we did what I assume many SAHM do during the early morning...run errands with kids in tow. In the past summers I would keep the monkeys going to daycare and have some time for myself. Not in this economy. Don't get me wrong, our daycare is/was fabulous, but man, it's great to not keep writing checks.

We went to the bank and boy that's a hoot with kids. I must admit they were very good though. Next stop was the library. I was very happy to sit it very crowded. T talked to the librarian in Spanish. I've got to keep that Spanish going over the summer so he get's a quarter for each Spanish conversation.

Then we did something so out of my comfort zone...we drove past a park and it hit me - we had no plans, so why the heck not stop and play. It was really weird to just stop and play. The boys were so happy. We really only stayed for like 45 minutes, but it was great being so spontaneous.

Home for lunch, reading, and naptime (for me).

Now here is where the day just got stupendous. T's baseball team has been good this year. Not horrible and not amazing, but good. They've got a great coach and supporting coaches that have taught them many things this year. Well they played the leagues undefeated team last night for the playoff round. I was nervous...thinking, weellll, they've had a good run and it's been fun.

Our pitching was so "on" last night that we were holding them to no runs at first. Then we got on and for 2 innings in a row got 2 runs. We're up 4 -2. Then they got 2 runs and I honestly thought, again, well it's been nice. But darned if our pitchers didn't hold them again AND we got two more runs. Their team had pretty much half the bleachers there screaming for them. Our team just had our parents, but by the time it was over other people had crowded around to see the "okay" team beating the "undefeated" team.

We live in a small town and people were stopping, talking, watching...it was great!!! Last inning and we're still up 6 - 2. Our calmest, coolest pitcher takes the mound and just sends them packing. I'm not a bad sport but man it was fabulous. First I must say not all of the players on their team are bad sports...in fact some of them are my son's friends and they're good kids. They're parents are good people...good sports, but there's just enough on the team that made it a sweet victory to say the least. It truly felt like the Bad News Bears...our boys came out of that dug out just like kids at Christmas. We parents were hugging, clapping, in tears of joy. For us, that was the season.

Now on Saturday T plays his cousin for "the championship" game, but like I said beating the undefeated team was the best win ever. If we win Saturday, it's just icing on the cake cuz even if we don't we still had a great fun season and that's all that really matters.